Screams

My outside looks calm enough.
Inside
My bones twists against each other
I tie knots in my abdomen
Tendons pull ligaments 
In a fight for oxygen
And space.
I twitch and shake
At the mere thought
Of getting in my car.
I wear out my clothes from the inside.
In the doctor’s office waiting rooms
I pace, stomp, sigh, do cartwheels.
I’m immobile. Petrified clay.
My voice screams into my ears.
In silent rooms.
My insides flame with
Stored rage and 
Unsaid curses.
The hex 
Stays where it was born.
Within me.
I panic at the sound
Of the doorbell
Or the phone.
I want to tear through
The walls 
With my bare hands
And rip the tangled
Wires of myself
Loose.
Adrenaline surges
Through my fireblood
Kills my calm.

4 comments

    1. A beautiful, full blown expansive, explosive, pre dentist panic attack. It was an amazing thing to see, I’m sure.

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